Idiots & bananas

Part of me wants to just rant to beat all hell about that fucktard in Missouri, Todd Akin. You know, the one who says that in cases of “legitimate rape” women don’t get pregnant.  As my brilliant husband said in his comments about this: “First, everyone needs to understand the difference between Legitimate and Consensual Rape — OH WAIT, ANY RAPE IS JUST RAPE, YOU IGNORANT FUCK!”
For all you male Republican idiots out there trying to legislate women’s bodies, I hope you get legitimately raped in your ass. Don’t worry, you won’t get pregnant if it’s legitimate rape, so it’s ok.

But, it was never my intention to turn this into a political blog. I’d rather be entertaining. I’m still going to rant when stuff pisses me off, but in this case there are people who can say it so much better than me. Go read this response. The link will open in a new tab so you can come back here after you read it.  An Appeal to Rep. Todd Akin. 

Ok, welcome back. That article was so much better than anything I could have written. It comes from a place of experiences I just don’t have. Therefore, I’m not going to waste any more time on here on this ass. If he continues to run & continues to say stupid shit I do, of course, retain my right to bitch about him in the future.

So, now I have to try to be entertaining.

I love bananas. They are one of my favorite fruits. There is no substitute. Seriously. Have you ever had anything with fake banana flavor? Was it ever anything more than vile? Banana flavor just can’t be faked.

Rick & I are trying to cut our spending on eating out and especially on lunches at work, so I’ve started buying food to bring in. I buy a bunch of 5 bananas on Monday. The Monday one is usually still a little too green for my taste. But by Thursday and Friday? Those bananas are perfectly ripe!

The thing that never occurred to me until I found a certain product on Amazon was that by simply eating my bananas from the peel I was denying myself the pleasure of perfectly sliced pieces of banana.

Yes, I now know that my life will not be complete until I get a Banana Slicer. The Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer, to be precise. This Banana Slicer cuts bananas into perfect sized slices for fruit bowls, cereal, sundaes, dehydrating and more.

Just look at those reviews! Out of 117 ratings 90 of them were FIVE STARS! Just this review alone tells you everything you need to know:

As you may or may not know, I have 27 trained monkeys I use to do my evil bidding. Well, the younger monkeys teeth have not fully developed and so slicing a banana to feed them is a necessary chore. The adult monkeys used to have to chew up bananas and feed their young but not anymore with the Victorio Kitchen Products 571B Banana Slicer. The adults are going bananas over this time saving easy product. No longer so they have to taste and chew the deliciousness banana without eating it teasing them like a teenage prom date.

Now, they can eat and enjoy while i feed the young by slicing the bananas into small pieces that’s easy for them to digest, This product is aces in my book and if you have 27 trained monkeys that will help you take over the land of OZ, i highly recommenced this product. This product is more useful than a barrel of monkeys.

So many years wasted without perfect banana slices. Never again, I say. Never again!